Boundaries: The Secret Love Language of Successful Coaches
Ask any coach why they got into coaching and you’ll probably hear something like this:
I love helping people.
I want people to know someone believes in them.
I care about people.
To sum it up in one word: service.
Now, ask why they left their draining 9-to-5 jobs behind to pursue coaching and you’ll hear:
I want to do work that aligns.
I want time and energy for me and my loved ones.
I want to be financially independent.
To sum that up: freedom.
It’s a beautiful dream... and it’s totally possible — if we’re willing to create boundaries around our purpose and protect the dream we’re building.
We are professional coaches. When I find myself letting my people-pleasing tendencies climb over the walls of the boundaries I’ve set around my time, energy, and mental space, I remind myself of this.
And to drive it home, I like to imagine a few other professionals handling business the way people-pleasers do...
Imagine it’s midnight on a Sunday. Dr. Burnout is curled up in their favorite pajamas, finally watching Netflix after a 70-hour week.
Ding! A text from a patient: "Hey doc, can we hop on a quick call? I have a weird elbow itch and mild existential dread. Shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes!"
Instead of, you know, sleeping like a normal human, Dr. Burnout sighs, grabs their stethoscope, fires up a Zoom link and says:
"Sure thing! I’ll just cancel sleep, family time, and whatever’s left of my brain cells real quick. What’s up with the elbow?"
Or picture this:
You walk into a high-end bakery — you know, the kind that charges $9 for a croissant that's roughly the size of your palm.
The baker, a true artist who spent three days perfecting that flaky, buttery wonder, leans in, wide-eyed and desperate, and says:
"Oh, uh... if $9 feels like too much, I can throw in a dozen free cookies, a slice of cake, and maybe my great-grandmother’s secret pie recipe? Actually... just take it. Please. LOVE ME."
Or how about hiring an interior designer to redo your living room? She's a total creative genius — Pinterest board-worthy.
You: "Hey, I know we finalized the design, but could we maybe change everything one more time? Maybe go from 'cozy coastal chic' to 'industrial vampire dungeon'?"
Designer (on the outside): "Well, my policy is three revisions..."
Designer (on the inside): "OMG if I say no, they’ll think I’m selfish, heartless, lazy, and also probably hate puppies. Better just redo the whole project... and bake them muffins to apologize."
And how about this one:
You book a fancy massage therapist — calming music, eucalyptus towels, the whole spa dream.
But every time a client no-shows or cancels last minute, this poor therapist just sits there, candles burning, essential oils diffusing, looking like a sad golden retriever.
Client: "Oh hey, sorry I forgot our session. I got distracted by a brunch invite and a TikTok wormhole. No biggie, right?"
Massage therapist (externally smiling like a hostage): "Haha, no worries at all!"
Massage therapist (internally): "Awesome, I'll just block out another unpaid hour of my life. Totally fine."
These examples seem ridiculous, right? I mean — they’re professionals. [Most] people would never dream of treating them that way.
Why not?
Because they have boundaries. Maybe some of those boundaries are social norms now... but they had to be created first. Someone had to set the standard.
If we want to build credibility for the coaching industry (and, let’s be honest, for ourselves), we have to do the same.
The Truth About Boundaries:
1. Boundaries send a message that your time and energy matter.
If you bend over backward to say yes to every little client request, you’re sending a very clear message — and it's not “you're important to me.”
It's "I'm not important to me."
2. Boundaries position you as someone who knows their worth.
If you offer your services at garage sale prices and overdeliver like Oprah on steroids, you don’t look generous — you look desperate.
Confused clients don't invest. Clear, confident clients do.
3. Boundaries are not the opposite of support.
As a coach, you’re uniquely positioned to offer clients a relationship they can't find anywhere else — one where you lovingly challenge them, reflect their truth back to them, and guide them forward.
Anyone can tell them what they want to hear.
You are there to change their life.
4. Boundaries protect your well-being.
If you allow clients to disrespect your time and energy, they will.
Dr. Phil wasn’t wrong when he said, “You teach people how to treat you.”
They show up how you show up.
If you don’t respect your own time, why should they?
Modeling how to show up for yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your clients. True professionals lead by example.
Boundaries will make your coaching more powerful and effective — not less.
They’ll help you attract better clients who respect your time, your energy, and your brilliance.
They'll allow you to build a business that feels energizing and sustainable — not draining and depleting.
Your boundaries are your love language — for yourself, for your clients, and for the incredible business you’re building.
Your dream business deserves protection. Your energy deserves respect.
If you’re ready to stop people-pleasing, set strong boundaries, and lead your coaching practice with clarity and heart, I’m here to support you.
You can:
— Drop a comment below
— DM me
— Or email me directly at stephaniefitzsimmons@turningtideslifecoaching.com
Let’s build the business (and the life) you actually want — one powerful boundary at a time.
